Nursing Woes

Why do I have so many issues with nursing? My first daughter was super easy (although we struggled with soreness and a little oversupply). But we nursed successfully for 13 months.

Then my 2nd came along and she was very difficult in the beginning. So painful. Put it this way, there was blood when I pumped one time (I didn't pump again any time soon). I was so incredibly sore. And it took a long time for it to get better. I finally called the lactation consultant at 2 months and she gave me some great tips which really helped. At 4 months, I got mastitis and my supply dropped and I struggled with it from them on. And every couple of weeks, she would hurt me again. Plus, I could never get her to nurse for more than just a couple of minutes on each side, which was always disturbing for me. I finally gave up at 7 months and pumped for 2.5 months more. I put her on the Kirkland formula from Costco.

When my third one started having problems, I talked to the LC right away and got some great tips. We've been fairly successful for 3 months now. The biggest problem is that I have a super fast let-down and I drown my kids. It forces them to pull away and squirm all over the place, leaving me sore and frustrated. And it doesn't just last for the initial let down, Addie continues to squirm and pull on me (and pinch me with her fingers) throughout the feeding.

By last Sunday, I was fed up. I has little red marks all over me from her scratching and pinching me. So, on Monday, I switched to only pumping and did that for 4 days straight. It was a welcome relief from having to nurse her and I really enjoyed just giving her bottles and having the kids and dh help with her feeding so much.

But pumping enough milk is a huge pain as well. Ugh. Plus, I got sore from the pump. My life tends to be overly complicated at times. :) Today, I nursed her twice and gave her 3 bottles and did okay. Tomorrow, I'm going out with my best friend for several hours all by myself! So, she'll get lots of bottles tomorrow.

Part of me just really does not enjoy nursing and then I feel horribly guilty for not enjoying it. But she is so much happier with bottles, the flow doesn't drown her and she doesn't squirm as much. I just don't know if I can switch to pumping only, as it's a big pain to be able to pump enough for her. But I don't know how much longer I can keep nursing her. And I can't imagine switching to formula now, let alone finding one that meets my high standards without breaking the bank.

So much to think about...